9th Inning Heroics

Greetings,first off, season's greetings to you and yours, whatever it is you may or may not celebrate this time of year. I'm always reminded of when my brothers and i were much younger, and we'd wake up really early on December 25th, run downstairs in our pajamed feet, only to find nothing waiting for us, because we're jewish and don't celebrate christmas. Yesterday, I went on a field trip with the garbage collectors. There are three kinds in Nakuru - the city, the community-based organizations that collect garbage and the private for-profit ones. I went with a CBO on their morning route to get a better understanding of garbage collection in Nakuru, since i have to look at what's going on to see how we can get a better quality compost. Well, I think it is incredibly inefficient here. The city garbage collectors go into the place of business with their own pan and empty the business' dustbin (provided by the city) into the tub, and the takes it out to the truck. There's no garbage left at the curbside. it reminds me of the simpsons where homer became garbage boss in springfield. remember the horrible results that became of that? The city's hope is to collect from each place 3 times a week, but at best gets there 2 or 1 times. In toronto, garbage collection is once every other week. As for the friday garbage field trip, the truck collects in 5 districts, each one serviced once a week. The garbage is left just outside the houses, and some of the people are there to help toss it in the truck b/c they want to go through it first to get out the plastic bottles (and sometimes food) bc they can sell the bottles as a means of income. After a couple of hours and the truck fills up and it gets taken to the dump, where the scavangers await the arrival to go through the garbage for food. I took some photos of some of the children who were there waiting. I'm sure in 2007 I'll go on a few more garbage collection trips. I'm not doing this for pleasure, believe me. I'm doing it to talk to the people involved to get their impressions on the feasibility of source separated programs for the waste. It is going to be a tough sell in Nakuru unless the town provides the people with the tools to do it. Remember, they don't have the same logistical situation we have in Toronto - where most people have a garage to store their garbage until collection, nor do we in Toronto have animals roaming the streets ( i.e. goats) to rip open the garbage bags that are usually left out overnight. Plus, we've had the big advantage of recycling so we have practice separating our garbage already.I found out something interesting - those bicycles - they are called boda bodas b/c years ago, cars were not allowed between the borders of tanzania and kenya, so people would be transported across the borders by bicycle. Eventually, it got shortened and slanged to boda boda. Some of them are really pimped up here, for lack of a better phrase, and I mean more than just streamers and baseball cards in the spokes. I've seen some of these bikes that have lights on their back spokes, radios, etc. MTV Kenya has a show called "Pimp my boda boda" and on one episosde they installed hydraulics on one boda boda so it goes up and down every time Dr. Dre's "Still D.R.E." plays. I understand that at the annual Boda Boda show, the 2008 models will have a tv screen that rests on the back of the cyclist, so the passenger can be exposed to commercials. Talk about taking advantage of a captive audience. A few weeks ago, the MPs gave the president of Kenya a raise that was larger than what bush or blair earn. He's since turned it down - the 180% raise. Rightfully so. I don't think anyone should be getting that kind of raise when most of the country lives in abject poverty. Bush himself is not worth the money either. Let's assume that the US was run like a corporation. He is the world's worst CEO. He's had his international partners turn on him (the CIA trained Uncle Ossy), and domestically, the entire situation is a mess. The majority of residents don't even have basic health care. Most of the shareholders (the citizens) clearly have lost faith in his efforts, and hopefully in 2008, the Dems can get their act together (they have their own issues that they need to work out quickly, including getting a viable candidate for the presidency) and win back the white house. I took another kid out for lunch last week. I took money out of the ATM just before so I was feeling generous. I thought he was a street kid since he didn't have any shoes on, but he has a house. The communication gap could not be bridged enough. All I found out was that he has 5 bros, one sister, is looking forward to x-mas and likes football (that's soccer for the rest of you). He was 9 or 10 years old. The little guy put away quite a bit. Fish and chips, 1.5 cokes, and an ice cream. He ate more than I usually do for lunch. I'm pretty sure that he didn't even have any breakfast.
24 is the best show ever. Last Saturday, I got Season 1, and while there should've been 24 episodes on the disc, due to a burning error there were only 11. Which was a blessing in disguise b/c it was already 3 am when I finished the 11th episode. I took the disc back and the vendor was going to get me a replacement, but 2 days later I found another vendor who had the full disc. I'm about 5 hours away from finishing Season 2. Like I said, it is addictive. Every ending of every show is a cliffhanger. This has inpsired me to write my own tv drama, also called 24. Except, instead of a counter terrorist agent, it will be about a corporate lawyer who has 24 hours to close the deal. Some of the methods he/she uses (haven't decided on the sex of the main character yet) are less than conventional, very similar to what Jack Bauer may use on 24, such as breaking fingers to get a rep and warranty in a contract. It's going to be the greatest thing since sliced bread. If anyone knows how Jack Bauer comes back to life in the 2nd season, feel free to e-mail me before 11 am EST on Saturday b/c I'll be in the net cafe until at least then. I don't care if you spoil it for me. I want you to. Not knowing is KILLING me. As much of a good idea organic fertilizer is, it's hard to sell a product when I don't even know if it won't kill the crops. They haven't finished the trials yet to determine yield and productivity, so everytime I talk to farmers to gauge their interest in using such a product, I am at a loss of information what to tell them. I think that the NGO decided to support this project not necessarily b/c it was such a good idea, but rather b/c there are a lot of farmers, and there's a lot of materials that can be used for compost. The first step before even investing in any equipment should've been to talk to the farmers, as I'm trying to do to gauge their interest in such a product and figure out what they are looking for in such a product ( i.e. cost effective compared to what they currently use). Education of the farmers is going to be key because the ones that use chemical fertilizers, a lot of them use it just b/c they know they have to use something and they've been using chemicals for so long. Monday I'm off to Nairobi again to do some interviews with a few organizations. I hate taking the matatus b/c unless I ride shotgun, it is incredibly painful. These were not designed for those of us taller than 5'8" as I once again found out when I went with some colleagues to another town to observe how they do their composting. We went to a company called Dudu Tech. Please don't ask me what they do, but the name did make me laugh. I think it is a subsidiary of PeePee Enterprises. The ride home was extra painful b/c I had to sit in the back. It's very interesting to talk with the locals about life here in Canada and Kenya. One topic that usually comes up is AIDS, probably b/c I keep bringing it up. There's quite a stigma here for people to even admit that they do have AIDS so most still do not. By the same token, there's also not as much condom use as there should be b/c most people do not want to use one here b/c they don't like the feeling of using one. Go figure, they'd rather run the risk of catching a deadly disease from something that is supposed to feel really, really good. Apparently, AIDS research isn't done for those of us in the developed world. There[s so few new AIDS cases in Canada; the bulk of it is in places like Kenya. Even needles in hospitals are just thrown out in the trash like everything else. To be honest, if I was to focus on one problem in Nakuru, it would be to teach the drivers to signal when they are turning. During the day, I don't care that much, but at night, when I'm walking home from the gym, and I'm dressed completely in black, it's a recipe for disaster. When you're not at home, your entire lifestyle changes. When you're in a developing country, your entire lifestyle gets flipped upside down. I got my haircut last week, and there's a lot more involved in that than just going to a barber shop. The first one I went to, I asked the barber if it is hygenic. He told me that he'd put a towel on me. Clearly, he and I have different standards of hygiene. He wanted 300 shillings (apparently that's the mzungu price b/c most other people I know don't pay more than 100 shillings, and some even as low as 30). I told him I'd return in 20 minutes (and by 20 minutes, I meant never). I decided to go to the hotel where I work out, which is a hoity toity one, and didn't care about how much it cost, at least i know they use barbicide there. It cost me 300 shillings, and the barber washed my hair and put on balm - he shaved it to 1/8 of an inch b/c I wanted a short cut. Now I look like an extra from Prison Break. Even shaving, I only do it once a week or so. B/c I have a knack for knicking myself, I tend to purify the water first using the filtration system I brought with me. First thing I'm going to do when I get back to the developed world (London UK on April 20) is drink water straight from the tap and shave using tap water. This is my last mass e-mail of 2006. I'm going to Lake Navisha on the 21st when our office closes, then on the 24th I'm off to Arusha to go on Serengetti from the 25th to the 29th. Right now, I'm deciding whether to fly or drive to Kigali, Rwanda. Flight is about 400 US both ways, from Nairobi, but the bus takes 24 hours each way. Flying is looking like the better option. I'll be back on the 3rd or 4th and promise to e-mail you all then so you know I'm ok. That is if you care. If you don't care, then, just please, put up with the e-mail. I'm going to try and catch a tiger while on Safari and bring it back with me and train it to do my bidding. That's the plan right now, but that may change once I see a tiger and realize that I don't think I could take it down. Heroes of the week:1) Jack Bauer: dude saved Presidential candidate David Palmer not once but twice (ok so the 2nd time Jack gave Palmer the exploding phone, but still). Plus, he just saved LA from a nuke attack. 2) My cousin Aaron - who searched Google earth for a McDonald's in Kenya for me. There is not one. He even offered to ship me some if I'm missing it that much. It takes 2 to 3 weeks for something to get from Toronto to Nakuru, via airmail. Unlike fine wines, I seriously doubt that McDonald's gets better with age. 3) Victor, Naomi and Mark - who informed me of job opps. Don't do me any good from here, BUT it's nice to know that i have people thinking of me.4) The Men in Green5) Jack Bauer. The dude saved LA from a terrorist attack. How awesome is that?! (Sorry, like I said it's really addictive). 6) Everyone who has taken the time to write to me - either in reply or to actually write. I do really appreciate it. The conversation here in kenya has been lacking to say the least.Zeroes:1) Amazon.co.uk - soooo annoying. they put my accounts on hold, they erased one of my accounts, so i opened another... i'd like to say i'd never have to deal with them again but if I'm going to order books while I'm here, there is no amazon.co.ke.A-hole of the week:1) My friend Waheed. Book review of the week:The World is Flat - I'm only some 200 pages into it so far, but very well written and very informative. This is book 7 out of 13. Next up: Life of Pi, followed by Kafka's the Trial. Awesome thing about Kenya I found out:A bunch of roses only costs just about one US dollar. Try buying roses in Canada for $1 US.Question I want an answer to, but hope to never find out the hard way: a) do iPods floats?b) If they do not float, do they float if they are wrapped in the iSkin (the rubber protective casing)? If anybody has the answer to these questions, please let me know. For anyone who is planning on giving me a holiday gift (always appreciated), I know that I won't be back in Toronto until April 30th at the earliest, so you technically have until then, but I do expect them to be wrapped in the festive wrapping that is commonplace now. While I'm here, I'm missing my favorite holidays: Hallowe'en (see Mean Girls); Christmas; Boxing Day; Festivus; New Year's Eve; New Year's Day; Flag Day; MLK Day; Valentine's Day; Tu B'isvhat; Remembrance Day; Charlie Days; so I have to celebrate them all when I get back. I've got to get back to writing some more anonymous love letters. Of course, unless those of who you receive one don't know anyone else in Kenya, then when you get the letter, I'm sure the postmark and Kenyan stamps will give away my anonyminity (sp?). Till 2007,Stay Classy.Jacob

In the 8th week of my internship, my true love gave to me

Jambo little ones,

It's been another interesting few weeks in Kenya with many things to share.

First and foremost, regardless of how many homeless there are on the streets of Toronto, seeing it in a developing world is a whole different ball game. I rarely see street kids in Toronto, but here, they are a plenty. There are two kinds: the ones that sniff glue and the ones that don't.

Last Sunday, I was on my usual errands for more movies (well just one - How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days), and a couple of street kids approached me. As much as there is a communication gap between us, they understood that I was going to treat them to lunch. I gave them a choice between a restaurant and the grocery store. I looked back, and there was a third. A moment later there was a 4th. I felt like the Pied Piper of Hamlin. I took them to a restaurant, where they just wanted chips, so i asked them if they wanted chicken too, and they also wanted soda (no real mystery to the poor teeth in Kenya - they drink so much Coke here). For less than $10 US I was able to feed 4 little kids. They looked so happy sitting there in the restaurant. I wouldn't know them if I ran over them with a truck, but I can hope that one day they will pay it forward.

Unglued

There's a real glue problem in Kenya - I'm not talking about kids gluing construction paper to themselves. The other group of street kids are the ones that sniff glue from plastic bottles.
Apparently, it is illegal to sell glue to anyone in Kenya who is not a cobbler (peach or otherwise). But this is about enforced as jaywalking is. I was told from a pretty reliable source that even I could walk in and say I was a cobbler and get the glue. Which is what those over 18 do, and then divvy it up and sell it - the same way most dealers sell drugs in North America. It's really sad - most of these kids have been high their entire lives, and it kills their brain cells.

Apparently, I've been told from someone who has worked with addicts that the relapse rate of those who go clean is 98%. A 2% success rate. Well, it's nice to know that there's something worse out there than the divorce rate. It's so bad, that in the Safe Injection Site that was in Vancouver, the gov't was buying the addicts heroin b/c methadone treatment is so much more costly than the cost of heroin, and the gov't figured by providing the addicts with the product, they'd be less likely to steal etc. I actually agree with that logic, and as an MP will work towards re-opening safe injection sites to keep the users safe and reduce the risk of AIDS transmission and death.

Unable to find How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days by itself, I am now the not-so-proud owner of the Matthew McConaughy collection, which includes The Wedding Planner, aka the J-Lo True Story, and a bunch of other stuff I have no interest in seeing. It was a state of emergency - I wanted a comedy to watch, and it was the best one available in Nakuru. If I wanted Tears of the Sun (Bruce Willis' WORST movie ever), it is available a plenty, but I do not want to sit through that garbage again. Ever.

Not only do I have to contend with the language barrier in Kenya - when I hold my focus groups and sometimes interview farmers I need a translator and certain things can get lost in translation - but even those who speak English speak a dialect of English that I call mumbleriffic. They say one thing and their voice trails off as they move their head so I have no clue what they are saying. I know I'm not perfect, and have a tendency to speak quickly, but I'm not used the enounciation and pronounciation here so I have to ask them to repeat themselves - sometimes 2 or 3 times.

Thank you for those who sent me info on handholding in Africa/Middle East. I know why, and I knew why when I wrote it. I'm just not used to it. We don't hold hands with even friends of the opposite sex in North America. I think it's one of those cultural things that I can try and bring back to Canada but will be met with much resistance to say the least. I really think that we really should just use the sports' way of congratulation - with a nice slap on the butt. Imagine, winning a big case, and your client pours the gatorade cooler over your head.

I'm a bit behind in my work from the point of setting up meetings with people. I want to take a ride on the garbage trucks to see if they have the capacity to collect organic garbage separately, but I worry about the language barrier between myself and the employees, since in Kenya, I'd be willing to bet that they may not be as fluent in English as I am. I'm at a real disadavantage compared to someone who speaks the language. I'm also at the mercy of others to take me to the farmers. If you saw the roads I had to travel to get to one farming group, you'd have to wonder how any gets about. The roads are eroded dirt paths, and I am thoroughly impressed with the driver's navigation skills because there are no street signs (or rather dirt road signs) anywhere.

One of the things that I should've been more aware of was the gender gap here. When I had my first focus group with some 18 farmers who represented 500 farms in total, the women sat on one side of the room and the men on the other. The women said nothing the entire time. Not even a word. Travelling to another farm site one day, there was a group of people and 2 donkeys moving wood. The donkeys were laden with wood, and the two men were not carrying anything but the machetes and a whip of sorts to, well, whip the donkeys to move. The women were loaded down with almost as much wood as the animals. When I took a photo Machete Man wanted money. I told him I had none. That could've been the last photo I ever took.

I was in Nairobi last week for business and almost fell prey to a confidence man. Thankfully, my lonely planet guide has warned me of such schemes so I was prepared. One of the more popular ones is someone comes up to a tourist and tells them that they work at the hotel where said tourist is staying and they're on an errand to get food for the hotel but are short of cash, so if the tourist could just spot him, he'll pay touristy back at the hotel. Well, walking along Nairobi's streets, one guy came up to me and commented that I was still walking. He said he was the doorman at my hotel. I just nodded and left. I was staying at the YMCA (the village people were wrong, it's not fun to stay at the YMCA in Nairobi. There's nothing to do.), and there is no doorman at the YMCA.

While in Nairobi, I saw a play where two women had their heads placed on their others bodies b/c their heads were chopped off as a result of a copter crashing piloted by one of the women's husbands. One of the women was a model and rather svelte and the other a journalist, and not svelte. The husband came to visit and wanted a conjugal visit. His wife's head thought it was with her head and the other's body, but it turns out the hubby wanted his wife's body, even stating that that is why he married her. It was quite funny.

The cab ride back to the YMCA was supposed to be 200 shillings according to the guy who put me in the cab, but getting there the driver said 300. i couldn't really argue with him, but it seems like there's a mentality to gouge mzungus as much as possible.

On the job front, I'm applying for a job with an NGO based in New York, in their Chicago office. It is at www.nfte.com. The job in Chicago is for program director, and since the e-mail address for the job is the same as the one for a position in Washington, I'm applying to DC too. Chicago is one of my favorite and scariest US cities I've been to. I don't think I'd be venturing to US Cellular field for a night game by myself. It's not exactly in a "good" part of town. I am considering trying to start a Toronto chapter of NFTE (it teaches high school kids about entrepreneurship) so if anyone is interested in helping me, please let me know.

Book review of the week:Wicked: SUCKED. Big time. Part of me wants to see the musical to see how much it differs from the novel.

Mercy among the Children: Well written, and I do feel sorry for the narrator's father, so much that at some point, you have to wonder how crappy can one person's life be. I do recommend it, though, but it's not a happy happy joy joy type book.

Movie Review of the week:
Saw II: sucked. Not as good as the first one b/c there was little or no character development. Also, the version I saw was a real bootleg - one of those that was recorded in the theatres so the sound and light quality were horrid. My fave part was when someone got up and walked in front of the camera. I will try and see Saw III sometime but it's not on my must see list.

Remember the Titans (the 5th time I've watched it since I've bought it): still awesome. I mean to take years of hatred and racism and remove them through football was ingenious on Herman Boone's part. A really touching story. I will always remember the first time I saw Remember the Titans.

Annoying thing about Kenya this week: When I went to exchange money at the foreign exchange counter, they pay 1 shilling more for US 50s and 100s than they do for 20s and 10s. So if you come here, you may be best to bring 50s and not 20s. Funny, b/c in Canada and the US you'd be crazy to carry 50s anywhere b/c you'd run the risk they wouldn't be accepted.

With the loads of free time I have, I have come up with a reality-tv show idea. I'm going to take some members of the Bloods, Crips, KKK, Heritage Front, the Chosen people (Jews, don't look at me like that. There's a novel called "The Chosen" so if it is in print it MUST be true), and probably some members of some sort of Chinese or Latin gang and stick them all on a desert island. They'll need to co-operate with one another to get off in one piece. It's going to be great.

This will be followed in the 2nd season by my reality tv show called Negotiations, where my team of lawyers, and my insurance company negotiate settlements with the families of those who died on said island. My defence is that it was NOT foreseeable that the Bloods and Crips would get together to kill the KKK members. I mean, really, everyone knows how much the Bloods and Crips hate one another. This one will probably be a lot less interesting than the first one.

Thing I miss this week: (tie) Iced Tea - there's hot tea but not so much any Nestea; and R. Kelly's Ignition (the original and the remix to Ignition). I don't have the luxury of iTunes here and even if I did, I don't have my wire to connect it from the computer to the iPod so basically I can only just keep singing the song over and over in my head until May. It's the remix to Ignition, hot and fresh off the kitchen...

On a final note, I have to write an essay describing three (3) things of which I'm most proud of. So if any of you have any insight into any of that, please send it my way. I don't think they are looking for the time that I watched 10 consecutive hours of Law and Order.

On behalf of those of us at the Nakuru desk,

Jacob

The 7 week itch, at least I hope that's what is itching!

Habari Yako,

Just to remind those new to this list, please visit: kenyajacob.blogspot.com to see the first e-mail listings.

I'm closing in on 7 weeks here in Kenya. I have yet to travel around (I know, I know but I wanted to be settled in first, and I'm hoping to go sometime in the next few weeks to Lake Navisha). It's much harder to travel when you're a single traveler - you can't really go by yourself for safety reasons. I have to have somebody to throw at the muggers when they come! I am going to do my best to spend every other weekend travelling to someplace not too far away, coming 2007.

Nakuru is the most boring town. Ever. At first, I thought that the boredom would kill me, and when I found the boxing gym, I found a way to eat up a significant amount of free time in the evenings. Then, after a few days, I thought that the boxing training was going to kill me - my heart has never raced so fast. Now that my body has adjusted, I realize that it is going to be a combination of boredom and mosquitos that will kill me - maybe the formation of a boresquito. I'm approaching the end of my smallville collection - season six is on the air currently in North America, so no one here can get it for me, so I think I'm moving on to 24, and I've returned to Sex and the City, which as I watch it for a 2nd time, I think the first season may have been the best one before it turned all soap-opreay with the on/off againness of Mr. Big. I should've been a TV critic. I really envision having read all of my books by the end of February 2007, being half-way through Wicked, which is I think the longest book I have left. I do have Kafka's the Trial which isn't long, but when I first read the first 80 pages a few years ago, it was one of the hardest books I'd ever read, so perhaps that will eat up valuable time.

I figured out a way to solve my problem. No, not that one. No. Would you just listen? The problem of being approached by every hawker on the street. I've befriended one of the hawkers who trains with me at the boxing club - I'm going to buy a number of those cards from him, and everytime someone asks me to "promote" them, I'll just turn around and ask them to "promote" me and buy my cards.

A few weeks ago, I took my first trip ever in a matatu, the public transport system in Kenya in towns. Anyone who complains about taking the TTC, then take a matatu and your view of the TTC will completely change for the better. Think of a minivan with seating for 14, plus a driver and a fare collector. The best part of the whole trip is when the driver starts to move the vehicle before the fare collector is even seated, or the door is even closed. Nothing is better than having that seat right beside the open door worrying if there's a sharp turn, you're going out that door.

The second matatu trip I took was in Nairobi last week when I had to get back from seeing a guy who used to sell organic compost as a means of generating income. This was a much larger one, and was the most pimped out vehicle I've seen this side of R. Kelly's Lincoln Navigator. There was a stereo, and there's nothing better than sitting directly under the overvolumized speaker to make a transit that much more enjoyable. On the windows was a decal of a gentleman with a mean scowl and an afro that would make Ben Wallace jealous.

Most Kenya vehicles are not built for the vertically gifted. When out visiting the farms, I'm transported in a 2-door Isuzu (i think), and even in Practical Action's own 4-door truck, getting out requires me to shift and contort my body in ways I didn't think were possible. The matatus have no leg room at all, and I've had to break out of the Toronto habit of getting into the back seat of the cabs just so I can get that extra leg room of riding shotgun.
\n \n(Speaking of taxis, why is it everytime we get into one, we never put on our seatbelt? We just met the driver and yet we\'re that trusting of his driving skills?)\n \nWhile the Kenyan drivers drive like maniacs, the walkers walk as fast as glass sometimes. In Nairobi, the public buses don\'t seem to stop for anything - not red lights, not even for passengers. If you can\'t get yourself on the bus while it is still moving, then you\'re going to have to wait for the next one. Imagine how much more efficient the TTC would be if they adopted this mentality. We\'d really see the old ladies with the walkers huffing it to catch that bus. \n\n \nOne lady I\'ve met here is from the US and she\'s got a friend who is coming from Pittsburgh. This woman from the Steel city, Nicey is her name, is setting up an NGO to help kids in Africa get the proper mentoring they need to go into business. A big problem in most of the developing world is when kids come to the cities looking for work and can\'t get any. Most of them don\'t have the education that we have (actually, I think everyone receiving this e-mail has at least some level of post-secondary education, and the majority have post-post-secondary. One of the "perks of going to law school is that you do know a lot of lawyers). Anyway, I\'m going to meet her in January when she\'s here - see if I can pick up a few tricks of the trade on how I can do something inspiring like what she\'s doing. \n\nOne of the organizations that is involved with Nicey\'s NGO is one called Dressed for Success - which takes donated business clothing for women and gets them to where they can be best used - lower income women who are going on interviews, getting office jobs etc. (And by business clothing for women, I DON\'T mean a certain type of night business. Get your minds out of the gutter). So, I looked up this organization and saw they had a Toronto chapter, so I came up with a bright idea to start one up for men. Except, I found out that already one exists. So, now I\'m back to the drawing board of starting up a new charity. Any thoughts? My fallback is the Human Fund, to which I\'m making a donation this Holiday Season in your names. \n",1]
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(Speaking of taxis, why is it everytime we get into one, we never put on our seatbelt? We just met the driver and yet we're that trusting of his driving skills?)

While the Kenyan drivers drive like maniacs, the walkers walk as fast as glass sometimes. In Nairobi, the public buses don't seem to stop for anything - not red lights, not even for passengers. If you can't get yourself on the bus while it is still moving, then you're going to have to wait for the next one. Imagine how much more efficient the TTC would be if they adopted this mentality. We'd really see the old ladies with the walkers huffing it to catch that bus.

One lady I've met here is from the US and she's got a friend who is coming from Pittsburgh. This woman from the Steel city, Nicey is her name, is setting up an NGO to help kids in Africa get the proper mentoring they need to go into business. A big problem in most of the developing world is when kids come to the cities looking for work and can't get any. Most of them don't have the education that we have (actually, I think everyone receiving this e-mail has at least some level of post-secondary education, and the majority have post-post-secondary. One of the "perks of going to law school is that you do know a lot of lawyers). Anyway, I'm going to meet her in January when she's here - see if I can pick up a few tricks of the trade on how I can do something inspiring like what she's doing.
One of the organizations that is involved with Nicey's NGO is one called Dressed for Success - which takes donated business clothing for women and gets them to where they can be best used - lower income women who are going on interviews, getting office jobs etc. (And by business clothing for women, I DON'T mean a certain type of night business. Get your minds out of the gutter). So, I looked up this organization and saw they had a Toronto chapter, so I came up with a bright idea to start one up for men. Except, I found out that already one exists. So, now I'm back to the drawing board of starting up a new charity. Any thoughts? My fallback is the Human Fund, to which I'm making a donation this Holiday Season in your names.
\n \nOne question a lot of people asked me before I left is the language they speak in Kenya. It is Swahili and English. BUT, the English I speak is different from the English they speak, and not just b/c I speak rather quickly. We use entirely different phrases here compared to, um, here in Kenya. What we call French Fries, they call chips. What we call chips, they call potato crisps. Asking for a tub leads to questions over my sink (is there something wrong with my tap?). Then there\'s the lingo I use is different from theirs, which poses problems when I\'m conducting interviews. Oh, and once again the teeth issue - out of 4 pages of notes, I\'ll probably have at least \n1.5 pages commenting on the teeth here. Telephone interviews are not a possibility b/c when I call most places, the person with whom I need to speak is usually not there (manager of the stores, etc.) to explain that I\'m not interested in buying fertilizer, nor am I necessarily selling it. Given, that most people I seem to interview either mumble, or their enunciation and pronounciation of words greatly differs than mine, I sometimes wonder if we are actually speaking the same language. \n\n \nI\'ve attached column 3 for those who do not get the Post. The opening paragraph was supposed to be my chastizing Kermit the Frog for complaining when he gets to hang out with Fozzie, Gonzo and Beaker (also the names I gave to the 3 iPods I\'ve had), so if the last sentence, where I remiss not rolling with Fozzie doesn\'t make sense, now you know why. \n\n \nI\'m absolutely convinced after spending one day walking around Nairobi, that NGOs efforts would be better directed to improving the driving habits of Kenyans and getting them used to using stop signs. When I cross the street (there are very few stoplights so there\'s mass jaywalking), I always make sure to walk alongside a Kenyan, in the hopes that the drivers are less likely to hit one of their own than a mzungu. \n\n \nHeroes and Zeroes:",1]
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One question a lot of people asked me before I left is the language they speak in Kenya. It is Swahili and English. BUT, the English I speak is different from the English they speak, and not just b/c I speak rather quickly. We use entirely different phrases here compared to, um, here in Kenya. What we call French Fries, they call chips. What we call chips, they call potato crisps. Asking for a tub leads to questions over my sink (is there something wrong with my tap?). Then there's the lingo I use is different from theirs, which poses problems when I'm conducting interviews. Oh, and once again the teeth issue - out of 4 pages of notes, I'll probably have at least 1.5 pages commenting on the teeth here. Telephone interviews are not a possibility b/c when I call most places, the person with whom I need to speak is usually not there (manager of the stores, etc.) to explain that I'm not interested in buying fertilizer, nor am I necessarily selling it. Given, that most people I seem to interview either mumble, or their enunciation and pronounciation of words greatly differs than mine, I sometimes wonder if we are actually speaking the same language.

I've attached column 3 for those who do not get the Post. The opening paragraph was supposed to be my chastizing Kermit the Frog for complaining when he gets to hang out with Fozzie, Gonzo and Beaker (also the names I gave to the 3 iPods I've had), so if the last sentence, where I remiss not rolling with Fozzie doesn't make sense, now you know why.

I'm absolutely convinced after spending one day walking around Nairobi, that NGOs efforts would be better directed to improving the driving habits of Kenyans and getting them used to using stop signs. When I cross the street (there are very few stoplights so there's mass jaywalking), I always make sure to walk alongside a Kenyan, in the hopes that the drivers are less likely to hit one of their own than a mzungu.

Heroes:

1) AJ and my mother, who PDFed and sent me columns 2 and 3, respectively.

2) Georges in Edmonton, who sent me my first piece of fan mail. Well, fan e-mail, but it is 2006, so that's to be expected.3) Kenya Post and Canada Post. They've combined forces, in a Voltron-like fashion, to form a super postal delivery service and get my mail to its intended recipients.

Zeroes:

1) Dairy Milk in Kenya - it's a lot more creamy and delicious and less gritty in Canada than in Kenya.2) James Blunt - in the time I've been sitting in the internet cafe editting this e-mail, I've heard "Beautiful" at least 3 times, and Blunt's whining that he won't get the girl makes me want to smash his guitar. I see "one hit wonder" following his name within 3 years.

Congrats to Dion who is probably the best person to lead the Liberals to victory in the next election (mark my words: Grits in the next election). Hopefully, he can reclaim some of the Quebec seats lost in the last election.

Until next time...