today is the longest day of my life

Hey you,

It's me again. This may be the last e-mail I send to you. I may write you a letter next weekend instead.

As of Monday, I will have only ten (10) days left in Kenya.

I've been advised not to cut my trip short regardless of whether the gov't falls on the 20th, so London and Vancouver here I come. Perhaps Paris too, as everyone is advising me that 8 days in London is a lot of time.

So here's my brilliant idea for a job: There's a guy who financed the genocide in Rwanda and there's a reward of $5 million USD on his head. First step, learn the fugitive's name. So this summer I'm going to train in hand-to-hand combat, learn how to shoot a gun and sniper rifle, learn some African dialects, come back to Africa and catch the guy. I figure it won't cost me more than $250 000 in expenses so think about the profit margin on that. If you want to pitch in a bit, I'll share some of the bounty with you.

I'm also going to try out for an NBA team this summer in the hopes of signing a free-agent contract. I am an excellent benchwarmer, and I look great in a suit, so I'd make an excellent 11th or 12th man on the active roster, or part of the 15 man roster. Plus, with all of my community involvement, I'd be a PR boon to any team, especially the Trail (formerly Jail) Blazers. Don't worry, if I make the team, I'll get you tickets when I'm in Toronto.

So the Jacob Foundation is back in full swing, which is good for the kids, but cash-in-flow is starting to trickle down. I may have to start begging or mugging to get more funds to feed the kids. I met this one street kid who was 15 years old, and I asked another one where he lived, and he said by the coke factory. There are no houses by the coke factory to the best of my knowledge.

I have my own little gang of street kids. I feel like Fagan, but I can't communicate with any of them. One of the kids asked me for money and I offered to take him to the restaurant but he kept pointing in the other direction towards a car. I had no idea what he was trying to say, but he eventually came with me and 3 others to the restaurant.

I usually take the kids to the exact same restaurant, and have never eaten there myself. I feel kind of bad b/c I'm not helping those kids with healthy eating habits b/c they always get soda.

I went to Nairobi on Thursday April 5 to have lunch with a mzungu from Alberta. A few weeks ago, he read my column in the Post (the one about the pirated DVDs) and contacted me. This man is my new role model. He's made millions in Alberta and is coming to Kenya to put that money to good use. He's bought acres of land for an orphanage, and is investing in income generating activities. He got inspired to do this after reading an autobiography of an orphan in Kenya who made millions in business, sold his interests and has helped set up orphanages, schools, etc. to help those who have been neglected by society. He offered to send me the book, but I declined - told him he was preaching to the choir. He treated me to lunch, which was nice.

However, the return trip home was less than pleasant. I got to the matatu station around 3:40 or so after going to the bookstore. The company booked me onto shuttle no. 21; at that moment, no. 10 was loading. It was at least 2.5 to 3 hours before I actually got onto a matatu.

After going to the net cafe for nearly an hour, and then to a restaurant to get a couple of sandwhiches, I still had another hour wait. One guy showed me the direction to the restaurant and then asked me for 100 shillings so he could get a beer. I told him I didn't have any. He returned to the matatu station twice more while I was still waiting, the second time I was actually in the matatu, seated by the window, and he asked me for another 50 shilling to take the bus. The dude had a job, too, so it's not like he was a street person.

I'm on a 4 day weekend, 5 if you count the fact that I took yesterday off to go to Nairobi. 4 day weekends in Toronto rock - that's 4 opps to go to brunch. I love brunch.

4 day weekends in Nakuru suck. Everything is closed today (Friday) and I'm sure will be on Monday too (as well as the usual closing on Sundays). I'm spending my time reading - one of the books I bought was Crime and Punishment and the other was about the guy who started Grameen Bank.

I'm pretty much done my projects. I wrote 30 pages on source separation and waste management in other countries (first and third world) and analyzed how it is being done in Nakuru (not so much) and recommendations for what my NGO should do to try to replicate source separation in other programs. It's hot stuff, talking about waste and source separation. If it doesn't get your juices flowing I don't know what will.

The drawback to leaving after only 6 months is I won't see how my recommendations play out or how the whole waste management stream takes effect in Nakuru. Also, I won't be able to gauge the success of the marketing plan I've worked on for the organic fertilizer. There are still a lot of questions that are unanswered, despite the market research that I did. For starters, were the sales at the Farmers' Field School graduation because of the promotion price or because Mazingira was the only fertilizer for sale there. Those are questions that my NGO has to follow up on after I leave, during and after the planting season which is coming upon Nakuru.

Please don't even consider suggesting that I stay longer. I was told by my buddy who heads the Nakuru Business Association (a mzungu who moved here b/c he married a Kenyan) that while I can make a bigger impact here than I could in Europe (very true), it's VERY lonely and isolating here. Plus, I really need to get back to Toronto to play basketball with people who are closer to my skill level and are not dunking over me like Vince Carter over a Frenchman. And by "closer to my skill level" I really mean, older, shorter, and much worse than me.

The luggage issue is still weighing heavily on my mind and in my bags. I may try to wear all of my clothes to lighten the load (I am leaving a no. of clothes here to the NGO's driver and some orphanages). Once again, I'm cursing the purchase of those runguu sticks. I can't even blame them on being an impulse purchase, b/c they were not near the register! What was I thinking?!

British Airways does allow for a 3rd piece of luggage for people doing missionary work (something the travel agent neglected to tell me and cost me $240 at the airport to get my 3rd bag to Kenya. Can someone say 'lawsuit'?), so here's hoping that the policy applies to return trips home, then I can mail my box o' books from Vancouver at what I presume would be a cost significant lower than $80 cdn.

Because a number of my readers have said that they will miss these weekly e-mails (ok, two readers have said that), I'm willing to provide you with a semi-annual mailer, one of which will be my annual Holiday newsletter. If you're interested, just send me an e-mail with the word subscribe.

On a final note, school let out this past week for the kids. They're off for a month. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to my lil' buddy, Victor. I finally figured out what good little kids are when I had Victor give me inbounds passes so I could work on my quick release shot. You can't teach a dog to do that. I was hoping to give Victor my basketball but I guess I'll just have to leave it with the coach.

See you in a few weeks...

j.